my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
