Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
