Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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