You're completely useless in the revolution.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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