so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I want her autograph on my taint
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
