there's paper in my vomit.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
