Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
