You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
