i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I have so many feelings about this burrito
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
