dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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