why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
