did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize