TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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