We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
