Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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