I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
