I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
