Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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