I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
