Im at strip club and am horny
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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