I'd wear matching sweaters with you
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
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