Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
