fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
