I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
operation have a gay friend backfired
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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