So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
