is your mom at the bar?
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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