You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
