But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
