Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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