He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
