dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
