Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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