Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
