So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
