I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
