You can't motorboat a personality
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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