so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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