I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
He's on the porch naked. Help.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
