Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
