Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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