dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
