did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
