i permit you to call me
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
