So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize