I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
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