Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i just google imaged poop.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
