The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize