we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
