george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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