There was a lot of him and a little penis
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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