we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
