They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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