How'd it feel making her break her religion?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
