There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
