I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
