walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
