Porn is love you can see.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
