WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm bleeding and have questions
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