so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
