No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize