belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm both gender and math confused
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
