Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
