Tell her she can't have a vagina
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
