So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
This baby is an asshole
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Randomize
