Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you traded sex for a burrito?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
