umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
