She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
