You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
