Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
