38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
